I Like Big Bites (and Why Should I Lie?)

(One who travels lives two lives. But who counts… El Viajero certainly does not.)

I am one of those people who like taking big bites. Huge bites to be exact. Small steps they said, everything needs time and patience and one day you’ll see the results you are striving for. But I am not that way. I used to be very patient, especially with others. However, in the past few years I find myself shedding that identity, and becoming more demanding, taking more risks, and sometimes even biting more that I can chew, only to allow my strengths and weaknesses teach me more about myself.

I know that being patient is one of the qualities passed down on me from my mother, and one I’ve been proud of for years. Patience becomes a way of being through activities such as completing a perfect piece of needlework, or tolerating bad behaviors in hopes that people will change. Being alone in a strange country, far away from the influences of a world wanting to shape me as a strong, yet passive and patient female, is helping me reveal a human who owns different qualities.

My passions, my abilities, my wants and needs, the things I like and the things that I don’t, they all take time to honor, understand, and unlock. Living in a world that doesn’t want individuals listening to their heart, one needs to put in a continuous effort to heal the wounds, and really love whatever the outcome of their healing looks like, no matter how much it deviates from what one grew up thinking they’ll see in the mirror when they’re older.

(Floating in the Dead Sea, one of the experiences I never thought I’d have, until I randomly decided to visit Jordan solo, rent a car and drive from Amman to Petra and back.)

I’ve never considered myself a coward, but I had never identified as a daring person either. Until now. Well, until a few years ago, when I decided to do whatever it takes to prioritize and be faithful to my heart’s wishes. Ever since I committed myself to my path, I find it easier to make bold decisions about my professional future, and it is even exciting to give up the warmth of my security’s blanket to seek growth. My dreams have different shapes and colors every time I wake up, and I reject none of them, unless they tell me things like “stop and settle down!, time is passing and you are getting older with no real career and no real achievements!”

I have no response to that voice; actually, I have no time for that voice. Because I am over here, dreaming about the next big bite of life I am about to take.